Real Talk

Well, I did learn something from the first date. It was the first time I have had to reject someone. That was uncomfortable. It helped remind me that I can trust my intuition. It also left me questioning whether or not I will be alone forever? I am stuck in this tiny town with nothing but couples. Time to get out the paint and continue to work on the house.

In a few days, or a week? Or two? I was back online. I started chatting with a guy who I was intrigued by, so I let him have my number. He immediately called me. Is this something that will happen all the time? If so, I give up! I HATE talking on the phone. HATE! It is one of my least favorite things in life. Don’t get me wrong, I had the preteen must-be-on-the-phone-with-my-best-friend-until-one-of-us-falls-asleep thing too, but as an adult I somehow had developed phone anxiety. I embraced texting and any other form of written communication. I don’t know if it’s the dropped calls, the years of cell phones with poor connections making it difficult to hear the other person, the occasional echo of my own voice throwing me for a loop, or not having confidence in my own words. Whatever it is that caused my hatred of phone calls, it ran deep.

I answered the phone. He had a great voice. I mean really great. He asked if it was okay if he called. I said of course. Ha! I wanted the call to end so badly. I couldn’t stop thinking of ways to get off the phone. As I’m looking back, he was probably thinking of how he could get me to get him to get off, period. I had no idea what he was doing, or what I was doing, so I rambled on uncomfortably until the conversation ended. I had recently splurged on one of those all inclusive trips to a Caribbean destination. I was leaving in just a couple days. I promised to be in touch when I returned. I wondered if he really wanted to hear from me again. Then I tried to put it out of my head. What a surreal encounter.

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